


Realization

by Revisitedgrunt



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, Feelings Realization, Introspection, Kissing, Talking, Touching, glowing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-17 07:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13654428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Revisitedgrunt/pseuds/Revisitedgrunt
Summary: Realization.Nico sighed heavily.  Karolina Dean was the reason she couldn't sleep.  If someone had asked her yesterday if she was straight, she would have said yes.  Then a beautiful girl had kissed her, and now she was questioning everything.Set during 1x10, Nico thinks about Karolina.Conversations.“The way Karolina looks at you isn’t exactly subtle."Set shortly after 1x10.  Alex talks to Nico.  The Runaways decide what to do next.  Karolina and Nico talk before sharing a moment.  Nico talks to Alex.





	1. Realization

Nico let out a breath, opened her eyes, sat up and looked around the campsite. Everyone had been exhausted, so when she heard the slow, steady breathing of people asleep she felt glad that her friends were getting some rest.

Molly and Gert had fallen asleep hugging each other. Chase lay next to Gert, a protective arm thrown over the two girls. Old Lace had curled up by their feet. Nico thought they looked like a family, and dearly hoped whatever happened in the future would bring them even closer together.

Alex was several feet away, separated from everyone else. Nico felt a brief surge of anger. He had been so ready to leave Karolina. Nico knew why, she knew it was the most logical, sensible choice. She even knew it was what Karolina would want them to do. Nico also knew that she was never going to leave without Karolina. If the others had refused to help rescue her, Nico would have tried on her own.

Nico wondered where Karolina would be if she was with them. Would she be by herself, like Alex, or would she be sleeping next to Nico, would they be wrapped in each other's arms?

Nico sighed heavily. Karolina Dean was the reason she couldn't sleep. If someone had asked her yesterday if she was straight, she would have said yes. Then a beautiful girl had kissed her, and now she was questioning everything.

Lying down, Nico closed her eyes and gently brushed her fingertips across her lips. As stupid as it sounded she could still feel the kiss, Karolina's lips gently pressing against hers. Nico had been momentarily surprised, but kissing Karolina back had felt right and that meant something big.

Nico had known Karolina almost her entire life. They'd never been best friends, Nico had always been closer to Amy and Alex, but they'd been close. Karolina had always been sweet, kind and caring and Nico had respected that, she had felt drawn to that. Not that that had meant anything, everyone was drawn to Karolina.

Yes, Nico could admit that Karolina was beautiful, but that was because she had eyes. Karolina had always been pretty growing up. Nico even remembered telling Karolina she was pretty when they were 12, but everyone said she was pretty so that didn't mean anything either. Nico remembered when Karolina had hit puberty. It had been very, very kind to her and the pretty girl of average high had turned into a tall, beautiful teenager. Nico had admired Karolina's beauty, but she thought works of art were beautiful as well. Just because she thought something was beautiful, it didn't mean she had feelings for it.

Nico rubbed her eyes. Things had always been easy with Alex. She had always thought he was handsome and found his dorky personality cute. They had flirted for ages and she was certain Alex would ask her out. They would date, fall in love and probably spend their lives together. Then Amy had died. Nico was hurt Alex didn't attend the funeral and even more upset when he stopped calling. Shortly after Nico isolated herself, the rest of her friends stopped reaching out. Karolina had tried the hardest. She hadn’t left Nico’s side at the funeral, had tried so hard to comfort her, but Nico had been numb and unresponsive. Nico remembered all the texts Karolina had sent and all the times she had called. Nico never replied, she couldn’t reply. Karolina had tried so hard, but eventually even she had given up.

When they'd all reunited, Nico had felt Alex's pain and sadness. It had matched her own. Alex clearly still had feelings for her and it was easy for Nico to remember how she used to feel. How Alex was always the person she'd call, always the first person she'd talk to and it was so easy to fall back into old habits. Despite everything, she'd been happy when Alex had kissed her and been thrilled at the idea of dating. Then she had learned the truth.

She knew she would forgive him, he was a kid in an impossible situation, but right now the pain, the hurt and the anger was too raw. The fact that he could have spared her two years of crushing guilt, two years of thinking she could have done something, if only she'd been a better sister. It was still to fresh and even though she would forgive, Nico thought she could never forget.

Nico had to admit that even in the last few weeks, when she’d been starting to build a relationship, or something, with Alex, she couldn’t help but notice Karolina. She would occasionally find herself looking at Karolina, then feel self-conscious and quickly look away. As the weeks had passed and she’d become more comfortable around Karolina, she had also become much more tactile with her, casually touching the blonde several times. Nico now realised she hadn't needed to hug Karolina so tightly outside Timely. She didn't need to tuck that lock of hair behind Karolina's ear, and she certainly didn't need to hold Karolina's hand while the blonde put a ring on her. When she'd touched Karolina at school, after Eifel had been a “hateful bitch”, Nico had rationalised that Karolina had needed comfort, but Nico was not a tactile person and she now realised she wouldn’t have done the same thing for Chase, or Gert, or even Molly. Every time Nico had touched Karolina, it was because she'd wanted to, not because she felt she had to.

It had become impossible to deny what she felt when Gert had pulled her away from Karolina. The fear, the terror at suddenly losing her and the overwhelming need to save her. She hadn’t felt that desperate when Alex was taken. The last time she’d felt something that intense was the morning she’d found Amy. Nico wondered what she’d have done if it had been anyone else, would she have fought so hard for them, would she have run back without the staff or a plan. She knew the answer was no. 

The kiss hadn’t really awoken anything in Nico, instead it had made her understand her feelings. Before the kiss she would have said that her feelings had always been plutonic. That she had admired Karolina’s thoughtfulness and beauty, even that she’d had a bit of a girl crush on Karolina, but Nico now realised she’d been wrong. She had always had romantic feelings for Karolina, she just hadn’t realised what it was she was feeling. She never thought Karolina was an option, so it was much easier, safer and acceptable to focus her attention on Alex.

Nico briefly thought what would have happened if she’d known everything all those years ago. Would she have gravitated towards Karolina or Alex? Nico shook her head, that was a pointless, useless train of thought. It was in the past and she had to think about the future.

As she felt exhaustion pull her into sleep, Nico wondered if she was bisexual. She hadn’t been attracted to that many men and had only been attracted to Karolina. As she fell asleep, Nico decided she could figure that out some other day. All that mattered now was rescuing Karolina.

\---

“You should have run.”

“Some of us wanted to.”

“Not you?”

“Nope, not me.”

Nico took another step forward and gently kissed Karolina. The nerves she'd been feeling just seconds before vanished and Nico knew that this was right. She lent back, opened her eyes and was greeted by Karolina's smile. After everything she'd been through, Karolina looked so happy that Nico had kissed her. Nico realised that she was smiling too. Any lingering doubts had been dispelled, Nico liked Karolina, she cared for her deeply. Nico had no idea what they were going to do and she had no idea how to stop their parents. The only thing she knew right now was that she wanted to be with Karolina.


	2. Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Realization was meant to be a one-shot, but I had fun writing it so here's a follow up.

“Hey, Nico.”

He sounded tired, defeated and resigned to his fate. Nico kept her eyes on the lake for a few seconds, before taking pity on him and looking up.

“What do you want, Alex?” There was no bite, or malice, in her voice, just the same tiredness. 

Alex sat down and turned to look at her. Nico had turned her gaze back to the lake.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I never meant to hurt you.”

Nico sighed. “I know,” she turned to face Alex. “But you did. I forgive you, Alex. We all need each other now and hating you won’t accomplish anything, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget it.”

Alex smiled sadly. “I get that.”

They sat for a while in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Alex eventually stood up. “I still miss her.” His voice cracked.

Nico got to her feet and took a step towards him. She saw the tears in his eyes. “Me too.” She threw her arms around Alex, hugging him tight. Alex stiffened before melting into the hug, holding onto Nico like a lifeline.

“Guys?”

The voice was soft and uncertain. Nico and Alex broke apart and turned to look at Karolina.

“Dinners ready.” She smiled, but it was unconvincing and she quickly turned to head back to the cabin. 

\---

Karolina looked upset when she sat down. More alarmingly she didn’t sit next to Nico. Chase, who had been placing the food on the table, looked at Gert in surprise. Gert, unsure as to what was going on, could only shug her shoulders. Chase threw another look Gerts way when Alex sat next to Nico and the two exchanged a small smile. Gert rolled her eyes and shook her head. She briefly thought about saying something but decided against it. Teenage emotions could be volatile and she just wanted a quiet dinner. Once everyone had sat down and started eating, Molly spoke.

“So, what do we do now?”

Karolina kept her head down, eating mechanically as everyone else looked around the table.

“We can’t stay here long,” Chase stated. He looked at Alex. “The cops, or our parents are going to search here sooner or later.” 

Alex nodded. “Yeah. I think we need to go back.” 

That caused an uproar. Gert and Molly both yelled “What!” Chase followed up with, “That’s the stupidest idea you’ve ever had” and Nico’s “Great plan, Alex” was bitingly sarcastic.

“I know how it sounds, but it’s the best course of action right now. The money I have isn’t going to last forever. I have cash at my house and proper supplies. Chase, you can get tools and parts to fix your Fistigons, Nico, you can get your staff. The things you can do with that thing... We’re going to need them to defend ourselves.”

Everyone went quiet. They didn’t want to admit it but Alex had a good point. When no one else put forward a plan, Alex spoke again. “We’ll split into pairs. Molly can go with Nico, Gert with Chase and Karolina with me.”

“If we’re going back, I need to go home.” Gert announced.

“Gert, there’s nothing there that will help us.” Alex reasoned.

“My meds. My meds are there.” Gert replied quickly.

Molly placed a comforting hand on Gert’s arm as Chase spoke, his tone indicated there would be no argument. “We go to Gert’s.”

Alex took a second before he replied. “OK, Karolina can go with Gert. Chase and I will go alone.”

It wasn’t the best solution, but it was the only one they had. The four of them nodded at Alex in agreement. Alex felt surprised, his gambit had paid off. In fact, things had gone even better than he'd hoped for. He'd planned to leave Karolina outside his house to ‘stand guard’. Now he didn't have to, he could talk to his parents in peace, find out what was going on and who Jonah was, without having to worry about any interruptions.

“Wait,” Nico said as she turned to Karolina. “Karolina, is there anything you need to get?”

Karolina briefly raised her head. “No.”

Nico looked at her with soft, questioning eyes, but Karolina looked down and continued eating. 

“You OK?” Nico asked quietly. Karolina nodded without looking up.

They finalised the plan as they finished dinner. As Molly began to gather the plates, Karolina stood up. “I’m not feeling great, I have a headache. I’m going to get some rest.” With that she quickly retreated to her room. 

\---

The Wilders lakeside cabin had three bedrooms, so it had made sense for everyone to pair up. Alex and Chase had taken the guest room as it contained two twin beds. Molly and Gert had taken Alex’s room, the bed was a queen and they didn’t mind sleeping close together. That left the master bedroom for Nico and Karolina. They’d have to share a bed and they pretended not to mind, explaining that the king sized bed was big enough to give them plenty of space.

Nico knocked gently on the bedroom door, before opening it slightly and sticking her head through. Karolina was lying on the bed, her right arm covering her face.

“Can I come in?” Nico asked.

“It’s your room. You don’t need to ask permission.” Karolina replied tersely. 

Nico entered, shut the door and walked around to stand on Karolina’s side of the bed.

“Karolina, tell me what’s wrong.” 

Karolina moved her arm to look at Nico, fully intending to tell her to mind her own business. She changed her mind when she saw the worried, caring expression on Nico’s face. Karolina pushed herself back and sat up.

“I've had a lot to deal with.” Karolina started calmly, but got more angry as she went on. “My mom's responsible for 15 deaths, my dad betrayed us and then I find out he's not even my dad. Oh, and on top of all that, I'm not even human and I'm gay!” 

“You’ve had one hell of a week.” Nico deadpanned.

Anger flashed across Karolina’s face. Nico looked contrite and sat on the edge of the bed, her arm and leg touching Karolina’s. She felt relief when Karolina didn’t move away. When Nico spoke it was quiet and soft. 

“I’m sorry. You don't have to go through this alone. My parents were just as responsible for those deaths. My dad didn't betray me, but he did betray my Mom and I think I'm bi. And it doesn't matter if you're not human, l still know who you are and that will never change.”

Karolina turned her head and looked into Nico’s beautiful brown eyes. “Who am I?”

Nico reached out and took Karolina’s hand in hers. She gave it a squeeze and answered. “You're Karolina Dean. You're smart, thoughtful, caring and incredibly brave. You're beautiful, inside and out and you maybe the best person I've ever met.”

Karolina couldn't stop herself smiling. “Maybe?” She asked light-heartedly. 

“Maybe.” Nico nudged Karolina’s shoulder with her own. They sat quietly for a moment, taking comfort in each other.

Karolina broke the silence. “You're bi?”

“Yeah, I mean, l guess. I've liked guys and I like you, and you're a girl.”

“Thanks for noticing.” Karolina responded playfully. She dipped her head slightly and looked up at Nico through her eyelashes. “You like me?”

“Yes.” Nico started to lean in, but Karolina pulled back.

“I’m sorry I interrupted you and Alex earlier. It looked like you were having a moment.” She tried to say it calmly, but she heard the worry and concern in her own voice.

Nico turned, now fully facing Karolina. “He told me he still misses Amy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Were you upset I hugged him?”

Karolina lowered her head in embarrassment. “Even though you’re mad at him, you still wanted to keep this, us, a secret so we wouldn’t upset him. I know how much you liked him. I know if he’d been honest with you you’d still be with him, and sometimes I’m sure you’ll end up together. You’re the only person I’ve ever cared about and when I saw you earlier, it reminded me of the last time I walked in on you two and I got jealous.” Karolina looked at Nico with such vulnerability and sincerity in her eyes. “I’m just happy I get to be with you, for however long you want to be with me.”

Nico reached out and gently caressed Karolina’s cheek. “Do you remember when we were kids and I called you pretty?”

“Yeah, but everyone did. I heard it so much it stopped meaning anything.”

“It meant something when I said it.” Nico said with conviction. Karolina looked at her, unsure and questioning. “When you kissed me at the dance it made me realise some things, made me realise I hadn’t been honest with myself. I’ve always liked you, I just didn’t understand what it was I was feeling. I thought it was just admiration, or a silly crush. The idea that I could like a girl the same why I liked a guy, I think it scared me so I ignored it.” Nico threw her leg over Karolina and straddled her. “Then you came back into my life and even as I was getting together with Alex I felt drawn to you, I couldn’t stop looking at you, couldn’t stop touching you.” Nico ran her hand up Karolina’s arm, across her shoulder and cupped her neck. She looked into Karolina’s eyes, noticing how dilated they were, and felt the blonde’s breathing pick up when she leaned in. Stopping centimeters from Karolina’s lips, Nico added. “I'm not with you because I’m mad at Alex. I'm with you because I want to be.”

Karolina closed the distance, capturing Nico’s lips with her own. Nico smiled, making the kiss awkward, so Karolina slid her tongue across Nico’s bottom lip. Nico gasped, stopped smiling and opened her mouth, letting Karolina’s tongue slip inside. The kiss they shared was more intense than any that had preceded it. Their feelings laid bare, they gave into the passion they had for each other. Nico yelped in surprise when Karolina grabbed her thighs and flipped them over. Finding herself on her back, with Karolina hovering over her, Nico grabbed the blonde’s face, pulled her down and kissed her deeply. She hooked her right leg around Karolina’s thigh as her hands began exploring the taller girls body.

\---

“I’m heading out. Just want to make sure we’re still alone.” Alex announced as he left the cabin.

“Say hi to Old Lace!” Molly shouted from the sofa. She turned to Chase and Gert, who were washing and drying the plates and utensils. “Should we see if Karolina's OK?”

Chase and Gert looked at each other. Gert raised an eyebrow as Chase grinned. “Lets give her and Nico some time to… talk.” She answered her sister, hitting Chase on the arm to stop him from laughing. 

\---

Nico tilted her head as Karolina began kissing her neck, and let out an involuntary moan as teeth scraped across her flesh. She felt Karolina’s hand slip under her top and slowly move upwards. Nico ran her hands up Karolina’s bare back, her t-shirt had been thrown across the room several minutes ago. Her hands stopped when they reached Karolina's bra strap and she turned her head, kissing Karolina with a fervor that left them both breathless. Karolina's hand had finally reached its destination. Nico let out a small gasp as Karolina gently massaged her breast and shivered when the blonde’s thumb caressed her nipple. Even with the cotton fabric of her bra separating their bare skin, the sensation was almost too much. When Karolina pulled back slightly, Nico looked into her alluring blue eyes and saw the depth of Karolina’s feelings. For a second she was overcome with emotion, unable to believe someone could care about her so much. 

Karolina stopped immediately. “Hey, are you OK?”

Nico pulled Karolina back down, hugging her tightly. “I’m great,” she whispered. She held on for a few more seconds before she released Karolina and gave her a sweet, chaste kiss.

“We should probably stop before you get too carried away.” Karolina smiled wickedly. 

Nico laughed, “You’re the one with your hand up my shirt.”

Karolina looked down, as if she needed to confirm that was true. She gave Nico’s boob one last squeeze before withdrawing her hand. Karolina sat back and Nico followed her up. The fact that it was now Karolina straddling Nico was not lost on them.

“We should probably see what the others are up to.” Karolina said as she twirled a lock of Nico’s hair around her finger.

“Yeah, probably.” Nico agreed, but made no effort to get up. Karolina smiled and let out a small giggle. She stopped playing with Nico’s hair and started to move off her lap. 

“Wait!” Nico said quickly, grabbing Karolina’s waist and stopping her. “There’s something I want to try.” 

Karolina looked both very excited and very willing. Nico slowly moved her hand down Karolina’s arm, stopping when she came to the bracelet. “Can I?” Karolina didn’t look down, she continued to look into Nico’s eyes as she nodded. Nico felt around the metal band, found the clasp, flicked it open and pulled off the bracelet. 

Karolina lit up, swirls of yellow, purple, pink and blue danced across her skin, becoming lighter or darker as they mixed with each other. Nico sat enthralled, the glow and the colors were incredible, but it was the way her skin sparkled that amazed Nico. It was like dozens of tiny stars were flickering in and out all over her whole body. Nico reached out, gently running the tips of her fingers across Karolina’s chest. She noticed the blonde’s skin was a little hotter. 

“You’re warm,” Nico breathed. “You are a goddess.” She leaned forward, unable to stop herself kissing Karolina. They kissed slowly and deeply for several minutes, before Nico pulled back. “I’m going to talk to Alex. I don’t want us to be a secret anymore.”

“Are you sure?”

Nico nodded. “Yeah, I’m very sure.

\---

“Hey, Alex.”

She sounded happy, like a weight had been lifted. Alex, who had been watching the small road that led to the cabin, immediately turned to face her.

“Nico, you come to keep me company?” He asked with a smile of his own.

“I need to talk to you.”

Alex’s smiled dropped. Nico had become tense and she refused to meet his gaze. Seconds passed before Nico took a breath and looked at him. “It’s about Karolina and me-”

“I know,” Alex interrupted. Nico looked at him with a mixture of surprise and disbelief. There was a small smile on Alex’s face as he continued. “The way Karolina looks at you isn’t exactly subtle. I’ve known for a while she liked you.”

“She isn’t... You have… Since when?” 

“Since before we got together.”

Nico shook her head. “Why didn’t I notice?”

“Most of the time we fail to see what’s right in front of us. At least you’re not as bad as Chase. He was oblivious to both Karolina’s total lack of interest and Gert’s very real interest.

Nico laughed and Alex smiled. “I’m pretty observant,” he said with a disarming shrug. “I see the way you look at Karolina now. You like her”

“Yeah,” Nico nodded. “We’re together. It started after we rescued her. I wanted to keep it quiet, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Thank you. I appreciate that. I know I blew my chance, Nico. To be honest I still care about you, so it’s probably going to hurt for a while, seeing you two together.”

“Well, I’m not big on PDA, so…” Nico stopped, unsure if she actually meant that.

Alex shook his head. “No, that’s on me. I’ll deal with my shit. You and Karolina should feel free to be with each other.”

Nico stepped forward and threw her arms around Alex. They hugged until Alex stepped back. “I’m glad she makes you happy.”

Nico smiled. “Yeah, she really does.”


End file.
